Say What?: BBC Compiles '50 Office-Speak Phrases You Love to Hate'

The one thing that I hated about working in corporate America (okay there were many things) was the b.s (bull speak) that was often used. I don’t like it when people piss on my head and tell me it’s raining.  It seems that others across the globe also have a problem with corporate linguistic duplicity, a.k.a. gobblygook, as delineated in a recent BBC News Magazine article, “50 Office-Speak Phrases You Love to Hate”. 

Here are my five “favorites” from the list:

“idea showers”  - Definition: A phrase replacing ‘brainstorm”.  According to the article, “brainstorm…might have negative connotations associated with fits.”  I think “idea showers” has the negative connotation.  It sounds like something R. Kelly would allegedly do or sing about in his next video.  Hey, will I need a towel after an “idea shower”?  Will it ruin my hair?

“Product Evangelists” –  Lord deliver me from “product evangelists”.

“Challenge” – Definition: A word replacing “problems”.  Shoot me with a rubber bullet.  Shank me with a butter knife.  I am so guilty of using this word in conversation when I intend not to offend, which, of course, rarely happens.  

“Granularity” – Definition: A word meaning “detail”.  Excuse me?  Sounds like someone’s trying to create some new SAT words.  I’d laugh my ass off if I heard this word used in a meeting, an important one no less. Then, I’d probably be fired…Oh, wait…Shown the door?…No…Kicked the hell out.?…No…”Leaving for Personal Reasons”…Now, that sounds right. 

And finally, the best one of the bunch…

“Conversate” –  Defintion:  To have a conversation. Yes, it was on the list.  Who knew that chickenhead speak has now made into the hallowed halls and boardrooms of the corporate world?  I certainly didn’t.  All I have to say is: What is we to do Lawd about this fluckery? 

To check out all 50, click here.  And let me know some of your favorites.

 

~ by cwriteandtheride on June 19, 2008.