Friends in My Ears

It seems that prayer hasn’t worked thus far.  I am considering dousing myself in holy water.   I know I say this every time but I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I have these unexplainable weaknesses for the strangest things.

Now you are probably wondering what the hell I am talking about.  I have yet another addiction.  First, it was Clean House.  Then it was Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane and LA Ink.  Just when I finally got things under control then comes along the force of nature called simply, “O”.  

For years, I have resisted the “O”, vowing never to be wooed by the saccharine sistah.  I have turned the channel and cancelled the subscription, never once allowing myself to gaze into those pug-like eyes least I get sucked into the vortex.

But even the strongest of us have moments of weakness.  

Oh hell, why don’t I just get on with it.  

My name is Carla Ray Thompson and I am addicted to “Oprah and Friends”.

Lord forgive me;  I know not what I do.  

You see, DirectTV, is now carrying the XM Satellite channel “Oprah and Friends” (on channel 807 to be exact) .

One day, I was flipping through the music channels and I stopped suddenly on “Oprah and Friends” beccoming instantly mesmerized by the sound of the voice of my new best friend (in my head), Gayle King.  

Well of course you knew that the BFO (Best Friend of Oprah) had her own radio show but who knew that it would be good…even great.  Shameful as this may sound, I love me some Gayle.  Her bright cheery voice and her tell it like is sassy quality is infectious.  I find myself smiling and laughing out loud.   I have a fondness for women of a certain age who just don’t give a f**ck.   And Gayle is definitely one of them. 

I listen to her in the morning and in the afternoon and sometimes in the evening — all in the same day.   And just in case you were wondering, it’s the same show with the same guests.  I’d rather hear Gayle waxing on about her apartment hunt than hear another doom and gloom news story or see hot messes act up on some reality show.

In addition to Gayle, I also get at least a twice daily dose of Dr. Robin Smith, the psychologist often featured on the Oprah television show.  I never liked Dr. Robin on those broadcasts; she came across as too mousy and the mighty O never let the sistah really have her say.  

On “Oprah and Friends”,  Dr. Robin, who hosts the show alone, proves herself to be a competent professional who dispenses much needed and welcomed advice to some very lost and hurting souls who call into the show.  She is direct without being confrontational.  She is compassionate without being coddling.  And as for me personally, her advice is both relevant and timely.  It’s as if she knows exactly what I need to hear at that given moment.   Dr. Robin does have guests like actor/producer Tyler Perry of the hit movie, “Why Did I Get Married?” and actress Michelle Ray Smith (no relation to Dr. Smith) of the Guiding Light.   Perry gave his usual “from poverty to the penthouse” schitck which I have heard in one form of the other far too many times.   Smith’s interview was far more enlightening and heartfelt.  Her father committed suicide four years ago and she spoke about her family and the events leading up to that tragic day as well as how she and her family have coped with the loss.   

There are other hosts on “Oprah and Friends”.   Here is my quick take on them:

Dr. (Mehmet) Oz –  I am far too neurotic and have way too many hypchondrical tendencies to listen to an hour show about medical maladies.   Just the sound of his voice makes my skin itch and my left eye start twitching.

Nate Berkus –  I am not interested.  Sorry.  I don’t have the interior decorating gene nor the interest.  If I want to fix up my place, I will hire someone, like Nate, to do it.   Then, I will stand back and watch him doing the heavy lifting.  Scratch that.  I will go get myself a nice mocha latte and stop by later to check on his progress.

Marianne Williamson –  (Cue the spooky music) I want to like her; I really do.  But the New Age guru is too far out there in stratosphere for me to relate to.  I still don’t get the granola-eaters “bible”, A Course in Miracles, and believe I never will. 

Dr. Maya Angelou – This sistah in a world apart from the rest of us — high aloft some mountain dispensing some brand of folk wisdom incomprehensible to the rest of us.   No, I am not being disrespectful, just honest.

Peter Walsh – Who?  What?   From what I can gather he is an “organization specialist” that helps people to unclutter their lives — literally.   His shows don’t hold my interest even for one minute.  I tune out and turn on later just in time for another dose of Dr. Robin.

Bob Greene –  What can I say about a man who hasn’t been able to help his longtime client effectively manage her weight?   I have nothing to say about him and he has nothing to say to me.

And finally…

Oprah’s Soul Series – Wow.  You must tune into to this show.  It’s hosted by the mighty O and it’s here she lets us get a sneak peek inside her inner crazy.  As it turns out, she is more out there than Marianne Williamson.   She even admits that she does not show this side of herself to her television audience fearing that they couldn’t handle it.   As usual, she interrupts her guests (who are really operating from another spiritual or celestial dimension) giving her two cents, which more often than not, doesn’t add to the discourse.   But don’t let this discourage you from checking out this show.   What it lacks in actual useful information, it more than makes up in unintended entertainment value.

So now you know where I am at.   As always, please keep me in your prayers.

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