Reality television’s favorite lipstick lesbian, fitness trainer and gym owner, returned this week starring in the third season of the Bravo series, “Work Out” (Tuesdays 10 p.m. EST). Yes, Jackie Warner’s back. Some of her trainers are not. She disposed of one love and found another. And with her personal life in full throttle, she tries to launch commercial ventures and her own version of “fat camp”.
For those Jackie lovers, (A recent New York Times article says there are a lot of them. And you’d be surprised who they are.), there is more of the mess we have come to associate with dear Jackie.
Where I do begin? I will recap a bit. During season two, Jackie leaves her longtime girlfriend, Mimi, an abusive sort who likes to express her “displeasure” with Jackie by biting her. Ouch. Jackie then hooks up with Rebecca, one of her trainers, much to the displeasure of Jackie’s other employees. The consummate “business” woman (who has a penchant for unprofessional and possibly litigious behavior–more about this later), she tries to start a clothing line and works with a group of overweight people (the direct antithesis of her usual buff and beautiful clientele), as a part of new project. And finally, on a much somber note, one of the beloved trainers dies unexpectedly. Are you exhausted yet?
As we begin this season, Miss Jackie has found “true love” with a 25-year-old bartender, Brianna, who she met at a party in the Hollywood Hills. They have moved in together and the two have become one for now. What happened to Rebecca? It seems that Jackie has completely kicked her to the curb much to the attention-starved Rebecca’s consternation.
To add to the fun this season, there are new trainers at the gym:
Renessa – a breastically-enhanced blond who loves personal training because “it’s the only job where [she] can boss men around [and] they have to listen to [her]”. She adds, “I am naughty. I am really naughty.” Okay…good to know?
Agostina – a Argentina native who won a trainer competition held by Jackie. She seems “normal”. No issues. No drama…yet.
Greg P. – a model/actor with a rocking buff body. Even the trainers intimated that he might have had an intimate connection with a steroid-filled syringe or two. He hasn’t gotten off to a good start. On day one, he decides to take off his shirt while he is training a beautiful female client because he likes to provide clients with a “living breathing inspiration”. He is informed by the Managing Director, Lisa, another newbie and a sistah who seems to love to stir up ish, that going shirtless is a no no. He also has the balls (veteran trainer Jesse’s words, not mine) to tell Jackie that he is “not digging” the clothes she designed for the male trainers. Of the shorts she designed: “I wouldn’t wear it to bed,” he said during on camera “confessional” moment. Miss Jackie was more than pissed off, saying that “he gets under her skin” and declaring that he was “on probation”. Wow. This is going to get real crazy. Let the fun begin.
Oh, before I forget, big boy, decides to bring a date to a dinner party given by Jesse for the trainers. Any guess who that date is? No, guess? Give up? It the same chick we saw him training at the gym. Oh yeah. And guess who has something to say about this mixing of business with pleasure? Miss Jackie herself. She likens a gym to a “very social setting” and says that there are “gray areas” when it comes to dating. She cautions that one has know which lines not to cross. Hold up. Wait a hot minute. This talk comes from a woman who openly dated one of her trainers last season. I’d love to know where the “line” is. Is it “no sex in the steam room”? “No fornicating by the 40 lbs. weights.”? Jackie needs to stop. And I mean stop before she and/or one of her trainers ends up on the receiving end of a sexual harassment lawsuit. It’s not to hard to imagine. The show’s footage would provide the perfect evidence.
Look, I would tell you about how veteran trainer Peeler and Jackie are still having their usual ugly spats. And how Jackie’s mental health mechanic seems unable to recognize that Jackie’s relationship with Brianna is classic manic love — burning hot and intense, then flaming out quickly — but I am too exhausted. I have to rest up for the next episode. Yeah, Jackie’s back. And I am glad.