I demand a great deal of my deities. My God loves to listen to even the most banal of my myriad of requests including that the subway arrive seconds after I reach the platform and that any annoying pimple will miraculously disappear. He (yes, it’s a he and a manly he at that), is essentially a kind soul. But don’t mistake His kindness for weakness because He will smote the hell out anyone who dares to mess with one of his own of which I am one. As for my goddesses, they must possess a healthy self-entitlement, be larger than life, be — in a word –fabulous. The object of my worship that possesses these attributes and more is none other than Kimora Lee Simmons, former model, fashion mogul and star of Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane (Style Network, Sundays, 8 p.m.) now in its second season.
I began genuflecting at her gold-plated altar last season when she allowed my peasant ass cop an inside view of her lavish world. And oh what a view it was. Resplendent in its fabulosity (a word she coined), filled with maids, personal assistants, a personal chef and a gold toliet, I was hooked on the display of opulence like a crack addict. I must have watched every episode at least five times. And like the true believer that I became, I proceeded to evangelize the masses, spreading the good news about all that is Kimora.
And on Sunday, as thousands of my fellow New Yorkers sought to get a mere glimpse of Pope Benedict XVI, the Holy Father to us Catholics, I was at home, in front of the television set, waiting to see the mother of excess, the Queen of Fabulosity, Kimora. And mother did not disappoint.
For my dear Kimora, more is always better. When we left her last season, she was the creative director of Baby Phat, an urban women’s clothing brand and a subdivision of the larger urban style brand Phat Fashions, which includes the men’s line, Phat Farm, created by her very soon-to-be-former husband (she has filed for divorce) and her babies’ daddy Russell Simmons.
Today, Kimora is the creative director of the whole damn thing. Oh, sistah is large and in charge. In the first episode, we see her at a Baby Phat and Phat Farm team meeting declaring that there is a new sheriff in town” and acknowledging that they must breathe life, which includes a healthy dose of fabulosity, into the “struggling” brand. To make sure that everyone is on the same page, in grand Oprah, style, she passes out copies of her book, “Fabulosity: What It Is and How to Get It“. Mother ain’t hardly playing.
In this same meeting, Kimora announces the promotion of her much put upon personal assistant Sandra to Brand Manager of Phat Farm, responsible for revamping the packaging and tags for the brand. Now, I know what you are thinking, this seems like just another rather run of the mill business meeting, big deal, what’s so fabulous about that? Well, nothing really. And I was beginning to get a little worried.
But I knew I had nothing to fear really because mother always delivers. And she did so in grand style. You see, as she had to contend with her ascent to the throne at Phat Farm, she also had to plan her soon-to-be 8-year-old daughter Ming Lee’s ultra-extravagant birthday party. First, they, meaning Ming Lee, her sister 5-year-old Aoki Lee, and Kimora, had to decide on a theme which turned out to be camping. Okay, you are thinking, a few kids in some sleeping bags in a tent under the stars, are you kidding me?
Oh, you so don’t know Kimora, like I know Kimora. Young Ming Lee had a cake made in her image in likeness by none other than Sylvia Weinstock, who in the words of Kimora, makes edible creations. Mother and the girls paid a visit to the cake mistress to taste a few samples before making final selection.
And poor Sandra, who in addition to her new duties, had to help plan this party as well. One of her responsibilities was entertainment. The girl delivered like nobody’s business. She auditioned several acts and settled on a wonderfully artistic face painter. And, as is her way, Kimora demanded that she find someone to sing “Happy Birthday” to Ming Lee. Sandra did her one better and booked an all girl teen pop band, Clique Girlz who performed in the movie theater located in the basement of Kimora’s New Jersey mansion.
Want to know more? I know you do. Well, for the special day, the family room was turned into a camp ground complete with astroturf. There were fire pits for the roasting of marshmallows and smores. And the pool room was turned into a tropical rain forest. There were shopping bag-sized gift bags for each of the 20 guests including 20 more gift bags which were to be donated to the Audrey Hepburn Foundation (I must admit that this display of generosity was a bit confusing. Was sistah trying to use her child’s party as a tax write off?).
At the risk of sounding a bit hokey and very hackneyed, a wonderful time was had by all.
As much as I love the over-the-top display of fabulosity, my favorite part of the show was the time Kimora spent with Aoki Lee at the shop Color Me Mine where mother and daughter painted a fairy angel, a gift for Ming Lee from Aoki Lee.
Yes, Kimora knows the what is truly priceless.
Help Wanted at Phat Fashions (The Ride)