The shades are drawn and I have dimmed the lights. The mourning period has begun. I just finished watching Bravo’s Flipping Out reunion show Tuesday night. I can’t believe the second season is officially over. What will I do? How will I live without my favorite OCD possessed real estate flipper Jeff Lewis and his highly dysfunctional crew? All I am left with are the good times like watching Jeff lose his ish over some seemingly inconsequential matter. Like watching Zoila, speaking in almost unitelligible English, try to diss Jeff. Like watching his business partner Ryan try to make sense out of the nonsense. Those were good times. Really good times. And then there were the not so good times when Jeff had to fire Chris Elwood, longtime assistant and husband of executive assistant Jenni P., after having caught Elwood via a nanny cam f-ing around on the job. And when subsequently, Elwood left Jenni after nearly 8 years of marriage.
Oh what is a reality television addict to do? Somebody hand mother her church fan and a box of tissues.
Well, present at this auspicous occasion hosted by Bravo Veep Andy Cohen were Jeff, Jenni, Ryan and Jeff’s housekeeper Zoila. Here are some of the highlights of the meeting which took place in Ryan’s fabulously decorated living room:
Jeff says that he is less of an a-hole this season. He has implemented a lot of changes from last year to this year. He may be an a-hole but he’s a lovable a-hole.
When asked by a viewer if he’s a tough boss because he is afraid of failure, Jeff responded that he is a tough boss because he is a perfectionist and works hard to bring his vision to life. He admits that although he is difficult to work for, if you work for him, you can work for anybody. (Isn’t that what all a-hole bosses say?)
And those of you who are wondering if Jeff has had some “work” done, he says, no, absolutely not. He hasn’t had Boxtox in the last 12 months nor any collagen. No plastic surgery either. Jeff reports that he is spending less time on his appearance and is feeling better about himself for doing so. He still manscapes. And for the record, he agrees with a viewer that he is the best looking man on television without question or close competitors. He describes his looks as a cross between Lisa Rinna and Priscilla Presley with a some Mickey Rourke thrown in for good measure.
Oh, Jeff is not on the pill — of any kind. No antidepressents. No vitamins.
As for our beloved, much put upon, and abandoned by her no good trifling lazy ass husband, Jenni P, well she is hanging in there. Never in a million years did she think that her husband would leave her. “Broadsided” was the word she used. “The nanny cam had a lot and nothing to do with the dissolution of the marriage…It did amplify things….but obivously a lot more was there.” She admits to not having grieved the loss until after the filming. “Someday I know that I was meant to be somewhere else with someone else,” said Jenni who is not dating as of yet. (By the way, Jeff is out and about, so to speak),
When she and Jeff go out together, he says he tries not to “cock block.” Said Jeff to Jenni, “You basically date me without the sex. So you’re missing the good part.”
Oh by the way, Jeff agreed to auction off that hideous painting of Zoila which he gave her as a birthday present. He promised, rather reluctantly, to give her the proceeds. When asked what she has learned from Jeff, Zoila responded that she has learned about Tila Tequila, Daisy Dukes, and how to drink a lot without getting a hangover. She also shared that his favorite song is “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” (I bet it does.)
Ryan is no longer sporting man bangs (thank you Lord). If you are wondering if his 2-year-old daughter Chloe is adopted, the answer is no. Ryan and his partner Dale used a surrogate who was inseminated with a cocktail of their sperm. Both Ryan and Dale’s names are on Chloe’s birth certificate. Ryan shared that sick Uncle Jeff taught Chloe to lift up her dress and say, “Girls gone wild.”
Finally, Jeff’s hot new assistant, Jett, is still around and Zolia, who Jeff calls a “Nicaraguan cougar” has a crush on him.
What’s next for Jeff? He is about to close on Valley Oak and will commence purchasing more properties in this new market, where he and Jenni both agree, good bargains can be had. And if I heard correctly, Andy Cohen mentioned something about seeing Jeff next year. Oh Lord, let it be true.
Zoila’s portrait was auctioned off on Bravo’s website and garnered a record $10,000. Here’s what Jeff had to say: ”If I knew how much the painting was going to sell for, I never would have agreed to surrendering all the proceeds,” joked Lewis. “I am worried that with this much cash in hand, she might leave me. But in all honesty, she deserves every penny for having put up with me for so long.” (Source)