What’s a badass beyotch with a stealth pimp hand gotta to do to get a little traction in this crazy media environment? First you had the pundunces of MSNBC wilding out on the air during the Democratic National Convention (DNC) acting like drunk relatives at a family picnic. Sweet Minty Jesus be a switch to beat their misbehaving asses since their fearful leaders seem to not to want to do it. Then you have the Republican Vice Presidential nominee, Alaska’s Governor Sarah Palin and her baby mama drama putting a new twist on the age old cunundrum of paternity or rather, maternity. Big ups to Sarah and her crazy clan for taking it there. So here we have poor Janice Dickinson, former supermodel, whose fourth season of the reality show, The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, (Oxygen, Tuesdays 10 p.m. Eastern) which premiered during the DNC, fighting for attention.
Since I adore Miss Janice, I thought it my civic duty to tear myself away from the “news” to view her premiere. I must say, I was a bit disappointed for it was bit of a yawn. Miss Janice, who at last season’s close, dissolved her relationship with her partner Peter Hamm and forged a new one with a modeling agency which will handle her business affairs, had gotten the bright idea of starting a modeling house. It is here where the models will live learn and work under the tutelege of the Miss Janice who will also reside there and watch their every move with the help of hidden cameras.
When Janice invites both the new models (she has a casting at the show’s outset) to mix and mingle at the house with the “old” ones, cat fights ensue when it becomes clear that only 15 of the 30 present will occupy the house. By the way, one of the new models is deaf. Another has too much junk in the trunk for Janice’s liking. (“Big in the trunk..on her way to becoming plus sized,” declares Janice.). Wait, no tranny? Trannies are all the rage. Every show should have one. Ask Diddy, who has one fly tran chick, Laverne, on VH1’s I Want to Work for Diddy and Ty Ty Banks who will feature one on this season of America’s Next Top Model.
Well, as Janice would have it, only the new models are chosen for the house but they are also joined by two established models, Maurice and Crystal, who Janice hopes will serve as mentors. And after telling Janice a sob story about how he is living in his car, Brian Kehoe, last season’s perennial bad boy with a bit of a drinking problem, is also welcomed to reside there.
As usual, there is chance for a potential hook-ups (which are absolutely forbidden) which will, of course, spark drama. And there is the usual fat model/eating disorder mess which may incite some interest if not excitement.
I love me some Janice and I was so looking forward to this season but the drama seems way too much like, “same shit, different season.” It’s a sad day in America when politicians and pundits provide more drama than our beloved divas. I think a national day of mourning is in order.