Bravo’s ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ are Keeping It Real Crazay

I feel ashamed.  So very ashamed.  Finally, this reality television addiction has gotten the best of me.  I enjoyed the high I got from watching Bravo’s The Rachel Zoe Project. Seeing her collect Birkin bags like works of art gave me an inexpensive, vicarious thrill. And I equally enjoyed witnessing Diddy dismiss Aubrey “I’m so nastay, I do it all day” O’Day from the girl pop group Danity Kane on season finale of VH1’s Making the Band 4.  

But now, although I haven’t quite hit rock bottom (You still can’t pay me to watch Rock of Love Charm School), I am know I am well on my way.  Somebody call Dr. Drew and get the bed ready at the Pasadena Recovery Center, I am watching Bravo’s the Real Housewives of Atlanta (Tuesdays, 10 p.m.).  Jesus take the wheel, I am going into oncoming traffic.

I believe in guilty pleasures. Scratch that. I believe in pleasures without the burden of guilt.  Live and let live. Do your thang and I’ll do mine. Okay, I’m rambling in true junkie style.  Look, I’ve never indulged in the Real Housewives franchise. I wasn’t hating; it just wasn’t how I liked to get high.  But when I read that Bravo was going to do a Real Housewives in the ATL and one of the broads was named NeNe (which I thought was pronounced NayNay. It’s really NeeNee), I couldn’t resist. I am drawn to hot ghetto messes like flies to feces. After watching both the preview and the show’s first episode, I was hooked. Yes, their stuff is that strong.

So, who are these women, the housewives of Atlanta?  Well, they are queens of conspicous consumption who have to dress in designer duds from head to toe and who employ legions to care for their every need and whim (and these beytoches are really needy). They are wives of the NFL and NBA players and a real estate mogul. One is a kept woman by a mystery man.  And their personal lives and relationships with one another are as messy as they come.

Here’s the breakdown…Before you go any further, you may need to run some errands or, at the very least, get a glass of your favorite drink and bowl of chips (I ate a bag of pretzels while typing this post.) because it’s going to take a while.  The “real” in the “real housewives” stands for “real complicated”. 

DeShawn – Describing Atlanta as the “land of opportunity for African Americans”, Deshawn just had a 15,000 square foot home built to her specification. Sweetly insipid and marginally literate, she states that she “always dreamed of living this way” knowing she “was destined to be somebody.”  DeShawn is in the process of hiring a staff including an estate manager, maid crew, governess and nanny.  What, no butt wiper and ass kisser?  From what I have seen thus far, DeShawn seems like the most normal (read: boring and insignificant) of all the ATL wives.  

NeNe – I must say this, as crazay as she is with her neck-rolling, eye-popping, long fingernail and weave wearing antics, I loves me some NeNe. Sistah keeps it real — although sometimes that real goes real wrong as evidenced when housewife Sheree (a brokedown soon-to-be ex-wife of a baller), inadvertently leaves NeNe’s name off of Sheree’s birthday party guest list resulting in NeNe being barred from entering by security. My girl was having none of that. She had an “Oh hell no” meltdown in the parking lot — cursing and calling for the valet to get her car.  No one was going to disrespect my diva.  Married to a real estate entreprenuer (whatever the hell that means), NeNe admittedly isn’t as wealthy as her ATL housewives cohorts.  There is a part of me that feels sorry for her as she tries so desperately to fit in, to keep up. 

Kim – NeNe’s BFF is a brassy, big-breasted blond white gal who loves shopping for designer duds. The two obviously delight in each other’s company. Kim is a divorced mother whose life of excess is financed by a mystery sugar daddy called “Big Poppa”. Big Poppa clearly has the big money because he purchased a Cadillac Escalade for Kim.  I like Kim and she and NeNe seem to have a wonderful Lucy and Ethel vibe. I loved it when Kim, on her way to Sheree’s birthday party, changed her dress in a gas station parking lot as NeNe held up a coat to shield Kim’s body from public display.  And in true ride or die chick style, Kim leaves with NeNe after the guest list incident even though her name was on the list. 

Wait. I’ve got to take a rest. Too much stuff going on. Okay, now I will continue.

Lisa – Word on the street that she is the ex-wife of R&B crooner, Keith Sweat.  During the second episode, she does mention an ex but doesn’t name him.  Biracial (black and Asian), Lisa is married to Ed Hartwell an NFL linebacker who is recovering from an injury. (She’s says they are a “power couple”. Who admits to such nonsense?)  Lisa is so hyperactive, you want to inject her with a vat of Ritalin. She’s a real estate broker, a jewelry designer, a mom and a gym rat.  Will somebody please sit her ass down? She’s making me dizzy. 

Sheree – I saved the best for last.  Self-important, obnoxious and trifling cannot begin to describe this soon-to-be-ex of a a washed up baller who is in a contentious divorce battle which she hopes, at its conclusion, will net her a “seven-figure” lump sum. Listening to Sheree’s nonsense makes my head hurt. She states that she “couldn’t survive without her entourage”. I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because she has lost her mind and needs more help than even Jesus can give…Oh, she makes me so mad… As I have mentioned earlier, heifer throws herself a birthday party which she swears will be the talk of the town.  And I am sure it was after NeNe called Sheree out of her name in the parking lot when she was denied admission. (Funny that I thought to use the word “admission”. I guess it’s because Sheree really put on a show.)  Oh, yeah, Sheree will be the series villain for sure.

Now, you may ask yourself, is this really how the well-to-do live in Atlanta?  According to my friend, a resident, the answer is “yes” and “no”. Yes, the ATL is all about ostentatious living —  that is until the repo man takes their fancy ride and/or their home is forceclosed on which I am sure is happening with greater frequency in these challenging economic times. It’s kind of odd as I keep track of the gyrations of the stock market as it plummets to record lows, I look at the Real Housewives of Atlanta and it seems like I am watching a bit of American history when greed was good and Gucci was God.

Related Article

Check out the Essence interview, NeNe:The Life of the Party”

or

Sheree Whitfield: More than Meets the Eye (Essence)

It seems that NeNe is winning the PR war.  She’s got a fan in Anderson Cooper. 

***UPDATE***

Hot damn!!!  I got to go shopping — for food.  Cheese curls, pretzels and root beer.  I want to make sure that I got my snacks and drank in line when the fight…I mean the “show”…begins.  What, you haven’t heard?   The Real Housewives of Atlanta are having a reunion special next Tuesday, November 25 at 9 p.m.  And it promises to be as messay as a Tyler Perry chiltin circuit extravaganza.   All I know is that on the preview I heard Lisa say something about flipping Kim over the couch. Sistah gonna go WWE on some asses.  Wow. 

Related Article

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion: Bust Ups and Bitchiness Rule (The Ride)


8 thoughts on “Bravo’s ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ are Keeping It Real Crazay

  1. I totally agree with your evaluation of lil Miss Sheree. She is definitly a diva in her own mind. I don’t know who told her that lie, I am one of those people who feel you should let compliments be made to you, not shower yourself with them. And she drenches herself in them, she’s always talking about “how hot she is” or how she can have a party and it be the “talk of the town”. SHHHHHHH, hear that? Me either, HELLO!!! Sheree, the only one talking is YOU!!! And another thing I don’t like, is why do all of them have to down one another to make themselves feel better? I guess hating is not exclusive to us ‘po folk’. DeShawn is the realest one on here, (so far). I have yet to hear her down someone else. (but then again the season has just begun) I’m sure if she doesn’t start spicing it up and quick, there will be a new ‘housewife’ next season. Take notes from ‘the Orange County’ chics. I really think that Kim’s “big poppa” is someones elses “big husband”. I hate to admit it, but I too am hooked and look forward to see how all these characters play out over the season.

  2. I just had to come back and comment some more! I can’t believe how caddy and fake these women are! I mean can you be any more fake than, Miss Sheree? Did ya’ll hear her talk about how beautiful Kim’s voice was? Oh my god! No she didn’t. I can believe Kim even wanted to attempt to sing, and who the hell told her she could sing? That’s what I wanna know. And oh my god! Did you hear when she said she was 29? I almost choked and she did it wit a straight face! (I mean she probably can’t smile anymore anyway, with all those injections) but no, hell no! That chic gotta be pushing 40 if not over. And Sheree is on a campaign to get as many of the women as she can to dislike NeNe. I also believe that ‘phone call’ Sheree got, from some female telling her “this chic is going around town talking all kind of trash on you” I really believe that phone call was staged. I think she had one of her friends call while she was on camera so she can make it look good as to why she ran to everyone and started talking about NeNe. (my opinion). I like NeNe, I feel she is the only one who got a little something and didn’t get all ‘high class’. She stayed real, now be it it’s ‘real ghetto’ but she’s real. I am so hooked on this show, I like Orange County better but this one is a close 2nd, those chics in New York are boring. I am sure after next episode I’ll be back, your gonna have to block me!!!! LOL!

  3. Ne Ne is Keeping It Real and everyone knows this. Ne Ne’s husband is fine and intelligent and well I’ll keep the rest of my thoughts to myself. Sheree is a fake and a phony, gold digger, who thinks she knows clothes. Who would start a clothing line without picking out the fabrics and checking on the seamstress? Dumb , Dumb but I look good? Kim cannot sing, and needs to spend money on her daughter’s braces. De Shawn is a baby doll with a good heart and Lisa is Cool. So that’s that can’t wait until next season.

  4. I was yelling at the TV during the reunion show. I’m sorry, yes they are grown and ladies and all that good stuff, but I would have thrown all that out the window the second the “B word” fell out of Kim’s mouth. I would have laid her out on that sofa! And she sat there and tried to get sympathy by lying that she had cancer, she’s a big ole mess! I like Deshawn she is pure in her intentions to do good, and I don’t see anything wrong with the way she lives. If she can do that then I feel she should be able to enjoy it the thing I like most about her and her husband’s relationship is that they were together before any of the money came, she was there for love and all the good stuff came later. Lisa is cool, but in my opinion she is a troublemaker on the low. I think she likes Nene but I don’t agree with her going back to that Sheree telling her about the song and then when she got put on the spot about it to try and take the focus off of herself she got mad and wanted to fight Kim. It was so obvious that she was put on blast and didn’t know how to come back so she got mad. I love NeNe, I think that she should stay exactly how she is she does not feel the need to get all ‘upity’ cause she has dough. She is a good mother, her kids are very respectful and appreciative. I wish I could go to Atlanta and go hang out with her! I can’t wait till next season.

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