When I woke up this morning, I was feeling really down. Money problems. Work issues. Too little time and too much to do. The usual. But now, I am feeling oh so much better thanks to the sunshine that a little chocolate magazine called Essence has brought into my life. And because I am giver, I will share this bit of joy with those of you, like me, who have been jonesing for a Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta fix. The days without Kim’s dollar store wig and 10-pack-day “singing” voice have been bleak.
Okay, okay, I will get to it. In an Essence interview, DeShawn Snow (You remember her. She’s with one with the oversized teefs and the inability to pronunskiate the most simple of words. Can’t remember? She’s the BORING ONE!) will not be on the show when it returns for a second season. (Yes, fans of fuckery. It’s official like a referee with a whistle. Stock up on the popcorn, pork rinds and your favorite neon-colored drank.)
Here’s what she had to say to Essence:
ESSENCE.COM: We hear that you are no longer returning to “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Is that true?
DESHAWN SHOW: Yes, one of the producers called me yesterday and said that they wouldn’t take my option.
ESSENCE.COM: What reason did they give for not inviting you back for the second season?
SNOW: [One of the producers] called and said that I was “too human for a circus show” and that because the show did so well, they are about to pump up the drama and they didn’t think that I would fit in. He gave me an example, saying that during the reunion when I found out what a few of the other ladies said about me, they were expecting me to say more, but I’m not the type to go “television” and start acting crazy because somebody’s talking about me. I’m fine with the decision. It wasn’t my decision. They let me go and there are no hard feelings. I am thankful for the opportunity.
ESSENCE.COM: So were you at all shocked by the decision?
SNOW: I didn’t see it coming. I was shocked because I just talked to them in December about the new season…(source)
“Didn’t see it coming”? Gurl, please. Compared to the other women, watching DeShawn was like watching dust accumulate. (I just had an evil thought. I am imagining DeShawn pronouncing “accumulate”. Stop laughing. God don’t like ugly. And you can take that any way you like.)
Enough about her. NEXT!
With DeShawn out, I know you are wondering who might join the ranks of the finest fuckery that television has to offer. This is the short list gathered from Essence’s DeShawn Snow, and Sheree Whitfield interviews:
Tameka Foster-Raymond – Usher Raymond’s wife. I can’t and I won’t.
Radio Personality Frank Ski’s wife Tanya – Who? What?
Julius “Dr. J’s” Erving’s wife, Dorys – Love the negrotian spelling of “Doris”. Sounds like a winner to me.
And about Sheree, she will be showing her clothing line, SHE by Sheree (Everyone, please I’ve heard it all) at Fashion Week. No, I am not kidding.
Oh, one last thing: Thank you Essence.