Aubrey O’Day, I Think I Owe You an Apology (UPDATE 2)

Okay, bear with me.  Here it goes. I’m not one for public apologies. I detest faux sincerity and remorse especially the kind celebrities and politicians dispense when caught speaking their mind. As for me, I take the approach, “I said it and I’m not sorry for any of it. No backsies beyotches.”

So you might find it surprising that I do regret, some of what I have said about Aubrey O’Day in previous posts. (Please don’t ask me for details. Why do you have to be so nosey? Oh yeah, you got it from me.)

Like I mentioned in a previous post, I had the opportunity to attend the Making of the Band 4 season finale and speak backstage with members of  the now defunct girl-group Danity Kane, R&B/Hiphop group Day 26 and singer Donnie Klang.

Prior to event, I had a moment to think about Aubrey O’Day, one of the most noted (some might say notorious, but I’m not going there) and clearly outspoken people ever to be a part of the Making the Band franchise. Aubrey seems to know how to stand above the rest, to get her name out there (with a Playboy spread/cover,  some red carpet “missteps” and questionable affiliations) — playing the fame game to maximum benefit, if not yet maximum profit.

A Star is Born: Aubrey O'Day formerly of Danity Kane
Aubrey O'Day formerly of Danity Kane wearing Zac Posen (photo: Carla Thompson/"The Ride")

“So what” you say.  “Tell us something we don’t already know.”

Okay, I will.

I don’t know how it happened or how I found out about it but I discovered that Aubrey had a Twitter account. I tweet. I love to interact with my twitter universe — a relatively small group of people (especially when compared with the legions that hang onto everyone one of Big O’s 140 characters from far flung places like Australia and India, and near ones like Alabama, New Hampshire and Greenville, SC. A wonderful group, of funny, thoughtful and thought-provoking individuals.

So I added Aubrey to my friends (people I follow) list.  Her tweets are generally fun — this-is-what-I’m-up-to with an occasional question or two to engage her followers. One question did make me take notice:  She asked her followers for their phone numbers so that she could call them personally.

Publicity stunt?  Maybe. But I could have thought of better, less intrusive ways of getting attention, ways that were more controlled and would leave her less vulnerable to fans or detractors.

It all sounded very cool, but did she really call her fans?

Yes, she did.  One of my tweebs, @kimlw, told me her friend “tweeted” Aubrey about the bad day she had been having a bad day and later received a phone call from Aubrey.

I see you.  Don’t try to pretend that your cynical heart isn’t softening a tiny bit.

Well, at the press conference a few days later, MTV publicity, ready to wrap it up,  called for one final question for Aubrey.  I blurted out the last question, which, in my opinion, was a garbled mess about being on Twitter and about the time she called her followers. Thank God she understood what the hell I was talking about.

It was while watching a basketball game (Aubrey is a big Boston Celtics fan) that Aubrey came up with the idea.  Of those who submitted phone numbers and info, she selected the most compelling stories — 30 of them. Her reason for calling @kimlw’s friend: Simply put, she would love to have someone call her when she was having a bad day. Aubrey, who said she “likes to keep her fans close”, went on to say that her staff of four started off as fans.

Okay, did I really get her so wrong?  I think I did.

Bear with me.  I am going to take a sharp left.

My ignorant and self-righteous self has come to realize that Aubrey who I was when I was young…I mean to say, “younger”.  I was a back-talking, badass who knew I knew everything. Although I sometimes spoke my mind tp my own detriment, I refused to play along to get along.

I wore clothes that were too tight and too short.  When I think back to those days, I have to laugh.  You couldn’t tell me ish because in my mind I was the ish. I was fortunate that my every move wasn’t scrutinized.  God knows what I would have been called. God knows how it would have affected me.

As for Aubrey, who has been called every name in the book, she said words, including the most negative and vile, are what YOU make of them.”I do what makes me a happy,” she said during the press conference.  A self-described “drag queen at heart” who doesn’t give a f*ck” what she wears on the red carpet, Aubrey said,  “I say what I say.  I am who I am”.

In observing Aubrey and her treatment by the media and others, makes me wonder if the world is a safe place for bold, unconventional young women.

Okay, I see you are almost with me about Aubrey but you still blame her behavior for the breakup of Danity Kane.

At both the finale and press conference, she put the whole breakup of Danity Kane in perspective: Diddy taught them, the girls, how to fight, how to survive. The girls of DK had to fight each other to be selected for the group.  It seems that once they became a group, they couldn’t stop fighting.

Isn’t that what women are taught?  To fight one another?  “Don’t let that beyotch outdo you.” Doesn’t matter if that beyotch is your daughter, sister or best friend.  But women, unlike men, seem  unable to turn off the fight mechanism. Day 26 had their fights — physical and emotional altercations — but they were able to work through it and remain a group — stronger and more committed than ever.

Aubrey said that she still fights but now it is a fight to be happy. She has also learned forgiveness — of others and of herself.

Aubrey O'Day with with Ginger
Aubrey O'Day with with Ginger (photo: Carla Thompson/The Ride)

Well, enough said about that.

Wondering what’s up next for Ms. O’Day?

Well, Aubrey will be “taking the stage’ with director/choreographer Jerry Mitchell (Legally Blond and Hairspray) and a camera crew will be following her (of course).  According to Aubrey, the reality television show has been picked up by a network for the Fall but she was not at liberty to provide additional details.

Am I forgetting something?….

Oh yeah, my apology…I’m sorry Aubrey.

To follow Aubrey on Twitter, click here.


Here’s the latest tune from Aubrey, Never ‘Fallin (feat. Roscoe Umali)


Aubrey’s reality show will premiere on Oxygen in 2011.  Here’s more on The Aubrey O’Day Project from the Hollywood Reporter (click here) (Update 2.1:  Aubrey announced on Twitter that the new show will be called “All About Aubrey!”)

Related Posts

To Know Her is To Love Her:  Aubrey O’Day of Oxygen’s ‘All About Aubrey’ (The Ride)

And You Might Want to Be Me: Photos from the Making the Band 4 Season Finale Press Conference (The Ride)

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