I’ve interviewed many a reality TV celeb but none can compare to Warren “The Ape” DeMontague, star of the new MTV series Warren the Ape (Mondays, 10:30 p.m). The beneficiary of a once flourishing career, Warren “The Ape”, now a victim of his own debauchery, is attempting to stage the comeback of lifetime in his own interesting way (which includes trying take down a rival by creating a sextape of that rival’s escapades)
So What’s Up With This Name Warren “The Ape”?
Warren “The Ape” DeMontague, prefers to be referred to by his last name. I am assuming “Mr. DeMontague” would be nice but I’m sure he’d settle for just plain “Warren”. Unfortunately, according to Warren, the media feels the need to call him “The Ape”. “It’s slightly degrading being reduced to ‘The Ape’. I wouldn’t call you ‘The Reporter’. It’s weird but I get it. It’s how public culture deals with you. When do you stop being a puppet and become a muppet.”. (Someone needs to explain that last statement to me. I get it, but I don’t.)
Why Reality TV?
Warren “The Ape”, as you might not suspect, considers himself almost too high brow for MTV (although he did audition for the Real World: New Orleans and the second season of Jersey Shore *side eye*). He said his show is more “socially responsible” (*cough, cough*). According to Warren, the show chronicles the struggle of a “fabricated American” whose career has careened out of control and who is now grappling with personal demons.
All B.S. aside, Warren admitted that he essentially “whored himself” to get the show. In the words of the great Beyonce from the Destiny’s Child years, dude’s got bills, bills, bills which includes alimony to his wife Maggie DeMontague. Warren married Maggie three times (Hardheaded much Maggie?) claiming they had a “passion for each other”.
Is That an Accent I Hear?
When asked about what seemed like a Madonna/Lady Gaga/Tina Turner post Ike British-ish accent, Warren said that he did indeed have hybrid Irish/British accent. He then went on to describe his childhood. (Cue violins. Get your tissues). Warren never knew his father and his mother passed way when he was young leaving him to raise himself. He traces his “taste” for alcohol to his mother. “I had my first drink in the womb,” said Warren.
Warren lived in the UK for a while and worked in radio before moving to the states as teen. He claims it’s easier for fabricated humans to work in radio because there is less discrimination because they can’t been seen.
Is that You Dr. Drew?
Yes, Warren is in treatment with the famous celebrity rehabilitation specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky who’s treating Warren addiction which the fallen star traces to the cancellation of his hit show Greg the Bunny. “Dr. Drew is trying to get to the root of why I drink,” said Warren. “He’s not just a TV doc. I realized he take this stuff seriously. Most reality shows are scripted. His isn’t. I found him to be professional, kind, quite reserved. Eugene Levy without the eyebrows.” (Was that a compliment?)
“Being in the same room with him, I realized he’s really cut,” continued Warren. “Guess the guy has to stay in shape to fend off the Jeff Conaways and get addicts off of rooftops.”
Back to that Comeback
Warren, who not-so-shamefully admitted to becoming involved in puppet exploitation films post Greg the Bunny, had this to say regarding his comeback: “The show was not so difficult to get. MTV realized I came cheap and I am interesting. I have good cameos with people I worked with before like Eugene Levy and Sarah Silverman I’m still trying to make that comeback happen…So far it hasn’t happened.”
A Few Words for Ms. L. Lohan
When asked if he would/could offer any advice to Lindsay Lohan, a fellow star on the comeback trail, Warren had this to say: “She’s a kind caught between adolescence and adulthood. She could use some Pinsky in her life. She needs to take herself out the spotlight to get healthy. This is an absurd industry. This is why I love it. She needs to move to the Midwest and call it decade. Do we need another Love Bug? I don’t think so.”
Shame on You: Most Humiliating Experience
“[The most humiliating experience was] having to go to Greg the Bunny’s mansion and ask him to appear on the show,” said Warren. “Hey, I’m a fabricated American. I have to let a guy stick his fist up my butt if I’m going to work…I’ve done stuff that would make your hair stand on end.”
Is Warren “The Ape” an Animal with the Ladies?
“Most of the women I date aren’t ladies. They are below my class,” said Warren. “They have to be freaky, open-minded because there is a prejudice against fabricated Americans. It’s hard. They are attracted to the promise of fame…I’m more like a “boozy whore’s man”.
What’s up with this term “Fabricated Americans”?
According to Warren, it’s the PC term. The slur is “sock puppet”. “Puppet” is acceptable. It implies “We’re not in control of ourselves,” said Warren. “I’m my own ape.”